Annual Ethiopian Picnic

Yesterday was the annual picnic for our local Ethiopian adoption group. There were over a hundred RSVPs and it was so good to see all of the beautiful Ethiopian faces there.

We've gone to events in the past where Macy was afraid to actually talk to any of the other kids. I'm sure it's a combination of wanting to assimilate fully into the American culture and still being slightly afraid that the other Ethiopians might just be there to bring her back. I've spoken with other adoptive moms whose children were very much the same.

On the way to the picnic we discussed how one of the older girls, Kidist, would be there to braid hair and Macy was convinced to have hers done this time. When we got there she backed out though. Trying not to show my frustration I assured her that it was okay and we could always have it done another time.

As everyone was packing up to leave, Macy said "But what about my hair?" This girl has some timing, doesn't she? Luckily Kidist was kind enough to do some braids for us at the last minute...in the dark...being eaten alive by mosquitoes...while Macy cried her eyes out. She has a sensitive head, which is why we wanted braids in the first place, because we'd be able to go a few weeks without having to wash and brush her hair. She's also a bit melodramatic.

I think it turned out so cute! She looks like a completely different girl to me.

The kids had an amazing time running around with new friends, painting, eating Ethiopian food, treats, drinking lots of lemonade and swinging until they threw up. (Yes, literally.)

Ethiopian Picnic

Yesterday the Ethiopian adoption support group here in Colorado held their annual picnic. We didn't make it last year because Fletcher was sick. I'm so glad that we went this year. It was lots of fun, great to get together with friends we already knew, meet other adoptive families and spend the day out in the sunshine. (Although it was REALLY hot!)

Fletch trying to cool down... Someone ran out and bought popsicles for all of the kids at some point.

Dad trying to rescue a wayward kickball...


The kids trying to get into trouble...

Felix chowing down on some watermelon...


Eventually we went over to the other end of the park where there was a little water play area. Here's Felix with Kaden and Oliver, who are the Matthews' boys. They're also with our agency. We met Lori and Kevin over a year ago now and went through some adoption training together. They're moving to Denver soon, so hopefully we'll get to see them more often!


Fletcher gave me some great blackmail shots for when he starts dating. He thought it was really funny to squat over the fountains and get his "business" wet. I'll spare you the inappropriate picture though.


And Miss Macy freezing her buns off. Don't worry, it was like 150 degrees out so she warmed up quickly. Thank goodness Dad took us for slushies on the way home!

I feel bad that I haven't posted anything here lately. We're just in that stage of waiting where nothing really happens. Two families with our agency now have travel dates at the beginning of December. Four have court dates on Christmas Eve. I have a feeling we may not see any more referrals until after all of their cases are tied up. It's a lot of work for the team in Ethiopia.

Anyhoo... We're just enjoying the holidays, watching Fletcher grow, and preparing for a cold, snowy winter here in the mountains.

Two more referrals late last week

<-- That's how I feel.

All this time I've had my eye on the prize, waiting anxiously for the day that our referral call comes. Now as more and more referrals come to families with our agency.....well.....I'm getting nervous!! One one hand I'd like it to happen RIGHT NOW. On the other I know that Spring would be good. We'd wait for our court date, then travel dates, and Marc would be out of school for the summer, and we'd have time to save up more money so they'll actually let us take these kids home. We'll "make it work" (as Tim Gunn says) no matter when the call comes. It just seems like every time I finally sit back and say "Okay. Spring. Spring is good. I don't mind waiting." and breathe a sigh of relief and contentment, then something exciting happens to get the butterflies stirred up in my stomach again. That's why they call it a roller coaster I suppose.

Another loss

It's heartbreaking to say that another one of the baby boys referred in September passed away late last week. He had been in and out of the hospital for an illness...I'm still not quite clear on what it was. Some sort of a bug or flu. These children are taken to the hospital by the orphanage when they are sick. Can you imagine how many Ethiopian parents lose their babies because they can't take them to the hospital?

---

We've gotten some questions about timing...

Our agency doesn't really share with us what "the list" looks like. They have a message board specifically for Bethany families adopting from Ethiopia. Going by that list, there are about 12 families ahead of us. However, I've heard that there could be as many as 30 ahead of us, because not all of them are active on the web forum.

Of the people ahead of us on the web forum list, there are only three who are open to a sibling set. These people have specified "one child under X years old...or twins...or siblings". We're the only ones who have specified that we definitely want siblings.

I don't know what that really means for us. For the other families, it could mean that they're just given a referral for one child. I guess all I'm saying is that, if a sibling group comes up, we could quickly jump up higher on the list since most people are just looking for one child.

So where does that leave us?

I have no idea! If I had to guess at this point, I would say that we may get a referral around the March/April/May time frame. That seems like so far away. But in reality, that would be best since Marc would be done with the teaching year and have summer break off to be with the new kids.

We'll see...

Moving along...but not fast enough

Our agency gave out 4 more referrals this week. Three were to new families and one was to the family who lost their infant boy before they could bring him home.

Hooray for referrals. A once-a-month time frame would be nice. Well more would be nice. But I'll take once a month over once every three months.

If you're the praying kind...

Last month our agency gave referrals for four infant boys. Late last week one of those sweet boys passed away. Two others are ill and in the hospital in Ethiopia. Because the 4th family doesn't use the agency's web forum, I don't really know the status of their son. But all of them - and their children - could use some prayers and good thoughts.

A little glimmer of hope today

A few weeks ago I got a generic/mass email from our agency (Bethany) saying they were wrapping up negotiations to work with two additional orphanages in Ethiopia. Being in the business I am, there are always sales talks and negotiations going on and I have learned not to ever EVER get excited about ANYthing until the papers are signed....and even then something could still go wrong. Call me cynical. I call it realistic. So I sort of thought "huh, good" to myself and moved on.

Today I read the blogs of two other Bethany families (not in Colorado) who recently got their referrals. One after 6 months of waiting and one after 4 months. HOLY COW! We've been pretty discouraged depressed over the fact that we're going to be waiting 18+ months for a referral and now we see 2 families get referrals in so much less time. Cue the hallelujah chorus!

Ayden's Friends - be one!

My post today is completely off the subject of adoption. I know the readers of this blog have a heart for others though - especially children - so I hope that you'll read this post and consider helping out a sweet little boy named Ayden. Ayden is the son of Tracey, a loving mommy I've come to know over the past year. Here's their story...

When you are three years old, you should be able to explore every inch of the world around you. You should be able to walk over to your mom to give her a huge bear hug and should be able to jump up to give your dad high fives. However, if you were born with Cerebral Palsy, as Ayden was, these simple pleasures enjoyed by properly developing 3 year olds can be enjoyed only with the assistance of special equipment, costly equipment.

One of these pieces of equipment is called a gait trainer, which Ayden uses at his physical therapy sessions, but the gait trainer belongs to the physical therapy center and must stay there. The freedom that Ayden enjoys at physical therapy sessions is halted at home because the cost of this piece of equipment is too astronomical for his
parents to be able to afford one of their own.

Even though the gait trainer has been recommended by his doctors and therapists as a vital piece of equipment to improve his quality of life, their many requests have been denied by Ayden's insurance. If you grant this wonderful little boy with his gait trainer, you would be truly giving him the whole world and giving him the chance to learn to possibly walk on his own two legs one day.

That letter comes from a great little website that some of Ayden's friends have set up. You can visit the site to read more about Ayden, see what donations have already been made, and to make a donation yourself. Even $1 will help.

I've also set up an ebay listing for one of the gorgeous necklaces that Karen makes for us. Bid with your heart, not with your wallet because ALL of the proceeds go to Ayden's Friends. Winning bidder gets free shipping and lots of love and gratitude from Ayden. Be sure to pass the link on to your friends and let them know what it's for. (Darn that eBay, they only let you raise money for certain charities, so I had to keep the listing kind of vague.)

How can you say no to a smile like this?

Oh what a night

We had a great dinner at Habesha, a local Ethiopian restaurant, last night. This has been in the works for maybe 2 months now and our group actually grew so big that the restaurant could no longer accommodate all of us. We ended up splitting into two groups and meeting at Habesha and the Nile. Each place had about 50 people turn out. I never ever would have imagined having a support group that big here in Colorado. It was pretty cool. Everyone was so friendly, the food was delicious and the kids all ran around and had a great time.

The restaurant had a giant projection screen on which they showed Ethiopian music videos. The kids (and some adults) danced and played. The staff was so nice and put up with the craziness well. I think the owner was secretly in heaven. I kept seeing him pick up kids, hug and kiss them, then put them back down to play. Too sweet. And at one point he mentioned to our organizer that one day he'd like to host a party for us, at his expense, as a way of saying thank you for taking care of all of these Ethiopian children. I think that was just amazing. Although I don't think a single person there would say that they were taking care of a child or rescuing or saving them....more likely the other way around. But sweet of him nonetheless.

In talking to so many people last night we found that our agency seems to work very differently than a lot of others. Marc and I kept hearing people say that they had gotten their referrals and were just getting all their paperwork to Ethiopia at this point. With Bethany, you basically don't exist until your dossier is complete and sent over there. So it seems as if our wait is going to be quite a bit longer than a lot of people we met. There were some other differences that escape me right now, naturally. One was the CPR & 1st Aid certifications, which are not required by other agencies. Oh, yes, and other agencies evidently allow you to adopt non related children at the same time. We are only allowed to adopt siblings who have the same father.

We picked Bethany because they are a well-established agency. As a kid, my mom had a friend who worked there, and we know others who are currently using them, so it seemed to me like a good, reputable company. And I know they are. I'm just trying to not let this get in my head...trying not to think we made the wrong decision. We picked them, they are a good company, our social worker is wonderful, I don't have to worry about them closing or going out of business and I know that there are reasons behind all of the requirements they set.

Do I sound convinced yet?