Insight...

Slowly but surely we've been telling our family and friends of our plans to adopt. It's different somehow than when we told them we were pregnant a few years ago. Of course most knew we were trying to have a baby, and most knew of the heartache we went through while trying. So when we were finally pregnant with our son, we knew that everyone would be happy to hear the big announcement.

Thus far we haven't heard any negative remarks about our adoption, so I'm not sure why I've been so apprehensive about telling people. I guess I keep expecting to hear, "Why would you want to do that if you can have your own baby?" And while no one has said exactly that, most people ask the more polite version of that question: "What made you want to do that?"

I think to truly understand and to really feel what we are feeling, one would have to read There is No Me Without You by Melissa Fay Green. It's a wonderful book that will make you laugh and cry, feel angry, and want to do something even if that something does not include adopting.

But our desire to adopt didn't begin with that book. I think that Marc and I both always felt led to adopt since before we even knew each other. In the time that we were trying to conceive a child we were sad to think that we might not be able to have a biological child, but also at peace and, in a way, consoled by the fact that we could still have a family via adoption. But when we were eventually blessed with our son, we still knew that adoption would be a part of our lives.

Many people say "Oh that's great of you to save a child." or something to that effect. While I appreciate their comments, I don't feel like I'm doing anything great. I think doing something great would be securing affordable ARV drugs so that the millions of people with AIDS who are dying would instead by able to live normal and happy lives. Great would be providing food and shelter to those who live on the street, starving to death. Great would be building schools that everyone could attend, schools with supplies and books and computers. Helping Ethiopia to recover from disease and poverty so that children could stay in their country, in their own culture, with their own parents and full little bellies - now that would be great.

What we're doing is just a tiny piece of sand in a large desert.