Nothing exciting

Another interview with our social worker is checked off our list. These are really a lot easier than I thought they'd be. We now have one joint interview left (scheduled for next week) and the home safety inspection follow up, which will also give her an opportunity to meet Fletcher and see us all interact and make sure we don't beat him. She's given us some good information and advice including the website (and book) www.beyondconsequences.com.

With Fletcher we've used a combination of The Happiest Toddler on the Block and 1-2-3 Magic for discipline strategies. HTOTB teaches you how to empathize with the child, especially during tantrums. I.E.: Instead of trying to explain to a tantruming child why he can't have Cheerios, you empathize and act just like him (which can make you feel like a total arse if you're in the middle of the grocery store) by saying/whining unhappily "CHEERIOS, FLETCHER WANTS CHEERIOS. CHEERIOS, CHEERIOS, CHEERIOS. FLETCHER IS MAD. HE WANTS CHEERIOS NOW." It's supposed to calm the child down because 1) they can see that you understand their feelings and 2) they're probably shocked at your behavior (haha).

1-2-3 Magic is more of a time-out system which we use when, say, Fletcher holds a phone above a bucket of water and drops it in even though I've asked him not to and explained that it would break the phone. We use both strategies depending on the situation. Our social worker said that the Happiest Baby method is going to be more helpful with a child who has attachment issues. She also suggested the Beyond Consequences website above. I admit that I have only looked over the site quickly at this point, but it claims to be "A love based approach to helping children with severe behaviors."

Have any other books or strategies that you like? Let us know by leaving a comment!